Michigan- Mississippi of the Midwest?

This week has been on hit after another for progressives in Michigan. Forward movement has, for the time being, been brought to a grinding as Tea Party Republicans were elected to the legislature across the state, the 6th Circuit Court decided against forward movement, and Republicans gained control of the US Senate. All hope seems to be anchored, all belief in the equalization amongst Americans taken away. But, we should not give up. Giving up allows those who are working against us to push forward their agendas without opposition. If those who were elected to represent us don't know what we, the people, want, then things will truly never change. We cannot consider this week to be a complete loss. We need to think of what it means for the future. We cannot flee the state. We have to stand and fight for what we believe in. If we don't, who will?

Let's discuss what this week, in it's entirety, does/could mean:

1. We have another election in two years. And not just any election, a presidential election. With a Republican-controlled Senate, the 2016 election will be the Democrat's year. Both chambers of the United States Congress are filled with right-wing agendas. The House will probably never be regained by the Democrat's due to gerrymandered district lines. But the Senate is supposed to be the body more representative of the average American, and Tea Party Republicans are as far from average as we can get. With a strong presidential candidate (can anyone say, "President Clinton," without smiling?), we can sweep the Senate back into our court.
2. The Supremely Notorious RBG. How can the Supreme Court get any better than our feisty little liberal Ruth Bader Ginsburg? I mean, yeah, the court is split 5-4 in favor of conservatism, but they already struck down parts of DOMA in United States v. Windsor. They've literally stated they wouldn't hear appeals states with cases in lower courts where the marriage bans were struck down. The 6th Circuit's decision, while not the outcome most would have hoped for, was made for exactly the following reasons:

• They waited to give a decision until after the election. And this is where a lot of speculation comes into play. If they had made a decision prior to the election to strike down the ban, our AG Schuette would have had no other move to make, the momentum from the win could have possibly been enough to swing the election in favor of Totten and Schauer- possibly even swinging some state House elections in our favor as well. If they had decided to uphold the ban, the same thing would have happened, but for the opposite reason- anger. Anger is a huge motivator in voting. This could have changed elections across all four states in the 6th District. We could have had a completely different outcome if the decision had been made a few days earlier. Waiting until after, until they knew who would be holding what office, they knew which decision would ultimately make the most impact down the road. Had Totten won the election, he would have removed the appeal as soon as he assumed office, thereby making the entire thing a complete waste of time. Schuette and the other Republicans winning left them with two options: 1. Uphold the ban, and have the Plaintiffs appeal to the Supreme Court, where the appeals by the states would be overturned. 2. Strike down the ban, and have the result of absolutely nothing further. By upholding the ban, they have ultimately signed the fate of the entire nation.
• The Supreme Court has virtually no choice but to hear the case once appealed. The fact of the matter is, the Supreme Court has said that since there are no conflicting lower court decisions, they will stand by the decisions made by the lower courts on striking down the bans. Now they have conflicting opinions from lower courts on the matter. This is one of the many functions the Supreme Court serves- to make the final decision and tell us which court is right. Based on other court decisions the Supreme Court has made in recent history, the majority of us can speculate with great certainty what the final decision of this case will be. And maybe, just maybe, it will wake up Americans long enough to help the Democrats in 2016 across the board. 

 3. What about those Tea-publicans? Well, I'm glad you asked. Yeah, we have to put up with them  for a few years. But they're so partisaned and so insane that those who voted for them will end up seeing the error of their ways and vote. Them. Out. The general public wants leaders who reflect the majority of citizens. The Tea Party does not. Unfortunately, they're really great and instilling fear in the hearts of the masses and tend to have a large amount of energy and money. Hopefully this is a wake up call to the Democrats to pull their shit together and find better candidates.

In closing, don't lose hope. Keep on believing and keep on doing what is right, even if people don't notice. In the end, the right way will be victorious. 

Lucky

I've been told that my nephew is lucky to have me. And maybe, yeah, that's true, but I don't believe that he's the lucky one out of our pairing. I am. When he was born, I didn't think that I would end up helping to raise him. I figured I would get my shot at being the "cool aunt", and that would be that. I didn't know how much I would end up looking at him as my own, as a product of my own creation. I didn't expect that I would be so in tune to him that I would hate every moment I had to spend away from him; I never even considered that he would help me when it came to dating or staying motivated. That little boy has become my rock.

When Trenton was born, I was becoming more and more content with being settled with what I had. I worked full-time, I had a good man, things weren't complicated. But simple has never been my life. Settled wasn't who I was. I broke up with my boyfriend, and went a little crazy. I went off the deep end for a short period of time, but then Trenton started living with us.

I started having to stay up after working third shift to take care of him until my mom got home. I had to be a part-time mom with no real warning. At first, I resented it. I worked all night, I wanted to sleep. And he wasn't a very happy baby. It wasn't easy, but I did it. I did it because I had to do it, he needed me. I had a responsibility to help my family in any way possible, and a few hours of lost sleep wasn't the worst thing to have happen.

I should have known that he had taken my heart captive from the first moment I saw him, but I was so busy being focused on my self that I didn't recognize the signs. I didn't know the impact that he would have on my life, what he would teach me, what I would find within myself through him...I wouldn't trade the past 27 months for anything. I've grown to hate having to miss bedtime. I love being the one to get him out of bed in the morning, no matter how tired I am when I do it.

He has taught me a countless amount of things, this list just barely scratches the surface:

• Patience. I wasn't a patient person before. I'd lose my temper easily, I never wanted to wait, I didn't understand tempertantrums... having Trenton around allowed me to really get a grip on my impulsiveness. He taught me to think things through before reacting, to breathe before I snapped. He taught me that waiting is sometimes the best thing in the world, especially if you're waiting with the right people.
• Trust. Kids are so trusting of those who are around them every day. They never have to question the security of their home life. He taught me to trust in the people who chose to be around me, he taught me to trust myself again.
• Playing alone. I have no complaints about how well Trenton plays by himself. He doesn't need someone to entertain him- he knows how to make the cars move and the pieces fit together...he knows how to shoot a basketball and swing a golf club... he doesn't need someone there to talk to him or keep him from getting bored. And for a long time, I thought I needed that. That constantly having someone around made the days go by faster, or that I'd go to sleep happy at night after spending the day being entertained by someone else. I know now that I don't need that. I don't need someone else to take my hand and show me how it's done. I don't need someone else to explore with me. I can do it by myself, and still feel accomplished afterward. And, sometimes, the days are better spent alone.
• Don't take anything for granted. Trenton sees everything, he takes it all in, and never overlooks the smallest details. It's all important to him, and while that may be slightly unrealistic to attempt to take in every small detail, it's important to remember that sometimes, it's the small things that matter the most. He understands that, and because of him, I am really learning to count my small blessings, because you never know when they'll be taken from you.
• Love. Trenton taught me to love again, and to let love in. Most importantly, he taught me to love unconditionally and with everything I have. Through him, I learned it's better to hurt from a broken heart, than to hurt from never allowing someone in.
• Never sell yourself short. This isn't something that he taught me, but something that I came to learn through becoming a mother to him. I learned my self-worth, I learned to put myself first when it counts, I learned that sometimes not getting what you want, will give you exactly what you need. Before Trenton, I pretty much dated whoever. There was no rhyme or reason to it, and, yeah, even after he was born, I still did that. But as time went on, I realized that I was worth more than a guy, and I definitely was worth more than just any guy who gave me attention. He taught me that relationships take work, that I have to believe in the other person as well as myself for anything to happen more than just an infatuation. Slowly, I also began to think of guys that would be good, not just for me, but for him. After all, he came first for me, I'd never give him up for anything.

Trenton saved me from myself, he helped me find out who I needed to be, and for that, I know I'm the lucky one here. I love him, more than anything. I couldn't love him more, even if he was my own. I fall more and more in love with him every day. Everything I do, I do with him in mind. Watching him grow and learning from him has been the best part of my life.

the whole ex-thing from my incomplete challenge

Well, this shit is about to get deep in my head really fast here. Way to go, writing challenge creator, way to go. I think there are actually 2 exes that I'd wish to say things to, I guess I'll start with the shorter first, simply because he might already know some of this. I won't name names, because that's just not kosher, but they'll both know about this post.

Okay, first off, I think you know you were a rebound. But not the normal kind. Not the rebound where I was seriously broken and just wanted to have sex (even if I was seriously broken, I didn't only want sex). You were kind of a rebellion for me, I guess. I was an adult, and I needed to break out of the feelings of safety and security I had been in for a year and a half. You were a means to an end, and deep down, I think you knew that. Which is why we can be such good friends now, because you know that we were probably the oddest pairing ever. Everything we had in common was superficial, we didn't really have that deeper connection. But it's weird, because now you actually understand how I work. You get me, and part of that is probably in part because you were a rebound. I'm sorry for that, but at the same time, I like being able to call you one of my closest friends. Without the fucked up relationship we had, that wouldn't exist.

Second, you were pretty much the best thing for me, but at the time, we just weren't right for each other. We had a disconnect, and I felt a divide coming between us, and I didn't want you to feel it, too. We were moving into two different worlds, you being able to live the college dream life, and me having to be an adult. It wasn't right to hold onto you, when you could go off and do whatever you wanted, and you needed to do that. I hope you did that. Not just for me either, but for you, because you deserve it. You earned the right to have a good time, and explore your horizons while you're off at college. I didn't break up with you because I stopped loving you, it's almost the opposite, I broke up with you because I knew that when you truly love something, you have to let it go. You needed to find yourself, separate from me and separate from your mom. I wanted you to figure out what made you, you. And you couldn't do that with me around. And I'm sorry that I never got to explain this to you, and I'm even more sorry that we aren't really friends anymore. I hope you've found yourself, and I hope you can forgive me.

all that jazz

So, if any of you out there have been following along, you've probably noticed that my 30 day writing challenge fell a little short. Well, a lot short. The first time I fell behind I thought, Well, I'll just post two in a day... and that worked, for two days. Then, I fell behind again, and thought, I'll just do 30 days non-consecutive.
Foolproof plan, right? Wrong. Dead wrong. It just meant I could put off writing for days on end and not feel bad about it. Totally punched a hole in the whole "30 day challenge".
Then I thought, well, maybe I'll just start it all over. But then I just strayed further and further away from starting over, that I realized I wasn't disciplined enough to actually write for 30 consecutive days. Hell, I couldn't even do a writing journal when I had to for class. How did I expect to be able to commit to writing every day when it was just of my own accord?
But I ran a marathon last year. I should be able to complete any commitment I make now. There should be no excuse available to man for me anymore.
Running a marathon doesn't make you invincible. It doesn't make you super human. It doesn't make you suddenly capable of accomplishing every goal you ever set out to do. Running a marathon simply teaches you that you are capable of doing great things, with a LOT of training. It isn't pretty, it isn't glorious, it won't happen on a whim (even if you're desire to run a marathon came about in a whim). There's an intense amount of concentration and desire behind running a full marathon, especially for someone who never ran one before. But you have to be able to fully commit, no half-assing anything.
And I was half-assing my challenge. I wasn't fully committed to it. I didn't concentrate fully on half of the posts I put up. And that's no way to go about a challenge that the entire world can watch you complete.

So, with that, I gracefully bow out from the challenge. And take this as a lesson, apply marathon training to ALL aspects of life, and you will succeed.

To: My Moms

Since today is Mother's Day, it seems only appropriate that I dedicate a post to my #1 heroes and fans: my 2 amazing mothers.
These two women have taught me so much, and I owe them everything. Together, they have showed me what true-love looks like, and that no matter how difficult you are, there is someone out there who will put up with your shit (the best part is, I'm not as difficult as my mother). When I look at them, I believe in love and that the best things in life have no monetary value. They've taught me that family is what you make it, blood ties aren't the same as love ties. They've raised me to believe in my dreams, and that I can accomplish anything. Without them, I wouldn't be the sassy, smart, creative, independent, fierce woman I am today (they were great models to follow).

Momma bear, you are my best friend. I enjoy every moment I spend with you (okay, maybe not the ones where you're super cranky). You're the best running partner a girl could ask for (even if you're a little over zealous with the photo ops). You've always been there for me and stood by my side. Together, we proved that anything is possible with a little sweat and lots of hard work when we crossed that finish line together in October. You pushed me when I wanted to quit, and I pulled you when you reached your limits. I couldn't imagine my life without you as my mother.

Traci, I've never thought of you as anything less than my mom. You've done everything that a mother would do for her child, and never saw me as anything less than your own. You're the most selfless person I know, and I will never be able to repay you for everything you've done for me the past 15 years (and counting). You've given me a great example of how I want to be treated, and I can only hope to find someone to put up with me the way you put up with mom (we all know that you're probably the easiest person in this house to get along with).

Both of you have given me the chance to be who I want to be. You've sacrificed so much for me, and I will be forever thankful for that. There's nothing I can do that would ever come close to repaying you. You've taught me to ask the tough questions, push through things- no matter how hard it gets, believe in my self, and love unconditionally and wholeheartedly.
I wouldn't be who I am, or where I am, without the two of you standing by my side.

Thank you, for everyone you have done, are doing, and will continue to do. I hope that when I have my own daughter, I can be a mother for her, as amazing as you two are for me.

So, you think you're family

I was told earlier this week, by the same woman who said that none of her granddaughters were good enough for law school, that one of my mothers wasn't my mother. I quote, as best I can do given the internet doesn't allow for such deep condescension as her words held, "God gave you one mom and one dad. That's all, you don't have two moms." Wait, backup, you're getting bigot on my new shirt.

The definition of family is fluid, not fixed. You can't define family by blood-ties alone, otherwise adopted children wouldn't have a known family, in-laws would never have to be invited to family dinners, and all your brothers and sisters at church would have to choose a different term. Now, some people are lucky enough to have a decently functioning "original" family, while others have to forge their own families.

I believe that families forged in fire have stronger bonds than anything blood-ties can give. "The blood of the covenant is stronger than the water of the womb." When someone sees who stands by their side, despite how bad things get, they realize who their real family is. And, I'm sorry, when one person tells me that I can do anything I set my mind to, who isn't blood related, I'm much more likely to call that person family than the one who says that I'm not good enough for something (I remember two instances, one where she told me that I wouldn't survive at a four-year university right out of high school, and another where she said I wouldn't make it in the Marines).

Unconditional love isn't conditioned to blood-ties. Unconditional love isn't defined by following the bigotry that other's have set before you. It isn't about looking down at those who you don't agree with. Unconditional love is about accepting someone completely, embracing their flaws, picking them up when they fall down, and never saying, "You aren't good enough." There's a reason it's called unconditional.

I know who my real family is. I know who has been there. I know who stands by me even when they don't agree with my choices. Don't define my family by your close-minded contentions.

I rolled my eyes a lot.

Things that really irked me about the County Commissioner's Public Hearing last week:

1. The opposition continually starting their speeches off with, "I don't discriminate" or "I believe in equality for all", but then adding some ungodly reason as to why passing the ordinance was against the public's best interest or was simply immoral. Things such as:
• "Reverse discrimination". First of all, this concept is a complete farce. The fear behind it is the same fear behind any other civil rights movement- discriminating is illegal, you continue to do it, and you'll get fined. That's not reverse discrimination; that's the law. Plain and simple.
• "My bible tells me so". Really? Here's a newsflash, the United States Supreme Court has interpreted the First Amendment's Establishment Clause to mean that you cannot bring your religion into government decisions. The Bible is a book, the Constitution is law, and the Supreme Court has stated so, Not to mention, the "God" that I was acquainted with as a child loved everyone unconditionally. 1 Corinthians 4-7: "⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." Not to mention how many people seem to pick and choose which scriptures to follow, and which ones to completely ignore. Anyone out there wearing polyester? You're going to hell. Ever gotten divorced? I'll see you down there. Do you like shellfish? Sorry, you've just earned yourself a first-class one-way ticket. Does your wife make more money? You're both going to burn for eternity. If you're going to follow the bible, follow it. You can't pick and choose the parts you like.
• "No one is born gay". Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize people would choose to be disowned by their family and community, have a chance at getting fired for no particular reason, and fear for their lives every day. Plus, if it is a choice, I want you to wake up tomorrow morning and make the choice to be gay. Then come back at the end of your gay transformation, and keep reading. Not so easy is it? Tell me how much of a choice it is now.
• "Men will dress up as women and molest our daughters in restrooms". Uhhh, what? That doesn't even have the slightest thing to do with this ordinance for multiple reasons: A. Trans-people have no interest in small children, they simply want to go to the restroom in peace. B. Molesters will go into a restroom whether or not this ordinance passes- if that's where they really want to get their victims from. C. Statistically speaking, the majority of rapes and molestations are committed by people the victim knows. So, I'd be more concerned about your daughter's music teacher than the stranger in women's clothing who just went into the public restroom. But, that's just my inference on a well-known statistic.
• "The homosexual agenda". Who knew that equal rights gave the LGBT community an agenda? I sure didn't. I'm sure that it got really annoying in the 1960s when the "African-American Agenda" was being pushed through. Or how about in the 1920s when the "Women's Agenda" was coming up? Damn us women for wanting to vote.
• "Special privileges". Seriously, you already have these privileges, so giving the LGBT community does not make them "special". If you want to take a step back, and remove the anti-discrimination policy that gives the majority of us equal protections, okay, let's do so. Are you an Irish-American? Sorry, you're going to lose your job today. How about disabled? I can't even think of why you were hired to begin with. Are you older than 50? I'm going to fire you, and you won't even get a severance package. How about African-American? Ha. Good luck finding anyone to even interview you. Jewish? You can forget about working here. Female? Where's your husband and why were you even let out of the kitchen? ...seriously, that's what these "privileges" have done so far. You're lucky if you happen to be a straight, white, middle-class, Christian, American, able-bodied, man because you'll get hired no problem. The rest of us? Well, we're just screwed without these anti-discrimination ordinances/policies/laws. End of story.
2. The fear the commissioners in dissention seem to have of their constituents. Yes, it is a fear. Otherwise we'd still have a clean, 5-2 vote, but we don't. Some commissioners have decided that it is better to be a politician than a statesman. And that's sad. It's a terrible thing when they would much rather win an election than fight for equality. This is what caused the Ancient Greeks so many problems. "Leaders" got elected who only wanted to be elected, not fight for the betterment of their people. They began to think emotionally, rather than logically, and emotions sent them into a war they could not win, they executed true statesmen who spoke out against these decisions, and bam, the Greeks lost their Athenian rule. Don't believe me? Go ask Sarah Wiley at Delta College. Tell her who sent you. The same thing is happening here. Our elected officials have lost touch with what they've vowed to uphold and what being in office is truly about. Who cares if you lose an election? Will those votes help you sleep better at night? If so, you're part of the problem.

I think that sums it up nicely.

Children and Parents

Before I get into what is really eating at me, I will first make it very clear that I am not a "parent" by the traditional definition of the word. I never gave birth to children nor have I ever adopted any. What I have done, though, is helped to raise my nephews. The oldest, who is almost 6, has lived under the same roof as me for almost 3 years. The youngest, who will be 2 in March, has never known any other home than the one he shares with me. I've been there for their best and worst days, and have loved them through it all. I've gotten the oldest off to preschool after working third shift, and made sure the youngest was dressed, fed, and ready to go when my mom got home from work. I've done everything a parent is meant to do and have loved every minute of it- the good, bad, and worse. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

With that being said, I feel that too many parents are selfish and don't know how to think about their children before themselves. Parents go after what they want, with no regards toward how this will effect their children. They act in such a way that only can result in a negative impact on the children they created. And I don't understand how. I just don't get it. I don't get how they can completely disregard the life that they created and not realize that their actions have an impact on these children.

It happens more often than not when parents split up. The end-game then is almost always to hurt the other parent. But the only one who really suffers is the child(ren). What are parents thinking when they act with blatant disregard towards the small humans they created? Children are like sponges, they see it, they hear it, they soak it all up. Parents need to remember that.

Children will remember the parent who acted in their best interest and the parent who acted selfishly, and it will change how they look at each parent for the rest of their lives. They'll know by the time they're 8 years old which parent is out to hurt the other, and which parent is only concerned with the welfare of the child.

I promised myself when I was 14 that my children would never feel the way that I felt growing up. That they would never have to have a million unanswered questions toward one, or both, of their parents. That they would never feel like a parent was a complete stranger, and not understand how anyone could just abandon what they helped to bring into this world.

When I grew close to my nephews, I extended that promise to them. But even as I sit here right now, I feel that there is nothing I can do to stop them from inevitably feeling that way. No matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to prevent them from falling victim to the same war that I was involved in. Unfortunately, it's worse for them, both parents are selfish. And those who want to act in the best interest of the children, have to keep their mouths shut. Now, how is that fair?