Children and Parents

Before I get into what is really eating at me, I will first make it very clear that I am not a "parent" by the traditional definition of the word. I never gave birth to children nor have I ever adopted any. What I have done, though, is helped to raise my nephews. The oldest, who is almost 6, has lived under the same roof as me for almost 3 years. The youngest, who will be 2 in March, has never known any other home than the one he shares with me. I've been there for their best and worst days, and have loved them through it all. I've gotten the oldest off to preschool after working third shift, and made sure the youngest was dressed, fed, and ready to go when my mom got home from work. I've done everything a parent is meant to do and have loved every minute of it- the good, bad, and worse. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

With that being said, I feel that too many parents are selfish and don't know how to think about their children before themselves. Parents go after what they want, with no regards toward how this will effect their children. They act in such a way that only can result in a negative impact on the children they created. And I don't understand how. I just don't get it. I don't get how they can completely disregard the life that they created and not realize that their actions have an impact on these children.

It happens more often than not when parents split up. The end-game then is almost always to hurt the other parent. But the only one who really suffers is the child(ren). What are parents thinking when they act with blatant disregard towards the small humans they created? Children are like sponges, they see it, they hear it, they soak it all up. Parents need to remember that.

Children will remember the parent who acted in their best interest and the parent who acted selfishly, and it will change how they look at each parent for the rest of their lives. They'll know by the time they're 8 years old which parent is out to hurt the other, and which parent is only concerned with the welfare of the child.

I promised myself when I was 14 that my children would never feel the way that I felt growing up. That they would never have to have a million unanswered questions toward one, or both, of their parents. That they would never feel like a parent was a complete stranger, and not understand how anyone could just abandon what they helped to bring into this world.

When I grew close to my nephews, I extended that promise to them. But even as I sit here right now, I feel that there is nothing I can do to stop them from inevitably feeling that way. No matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to prevent them from falling victim to the same war that I was involved in. Unfortunately, it's worse for them, both parents are selfish. And those who want to act in the best interest of the children, have to keep their mouths shut. Now, how is that fair?